Amused by Police Scanners

October 30, 2009

Assault with a deadly weapon

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:13 pm

Dispatch: White male, black hair, black beard. Trying to push a grocery cart through the window to hit a customer.

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TMI

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:12 pm

Officer: What was that description again?

Dispatch: White male, six foot, wearing a towel.

October 29, 2009

In the line up

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 12:54 pm

Officer: No flexing and posing!

October 28, 2009

At least it’s not a cat in a tree

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 12:43 pm

Officer: Please be advised there is a rabbit stuck in the chain link
fence near the dogs. Resident is going to get it out.

Officer Wives

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 12:42 pm

Officer: Dispatch, will you hold the air? I’ll be in my residence.

October 27, 2009

Reason #23 not to prank call the police

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:12 pm

Dispatch: This is a small child playing on the phone. He admitted he didn’t have an emergency and did not need an officer.

Officer: Give me the address, anyway. My tactical gear is in the trunk.

Friendly disagreements

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:11 pm

Dispatch: Woman says her friend won’t stop painting her house gray instead of white. Check to your own satisfaction.

October 26, 2009

Leave those kids alone

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:13 pm

Dispatch: Woman says her grandson will not get out of the car. He refuses to go to school.

October 23, 2009

“Man” Down

Filed under: Ambulance,Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 5:01 pm

Dispatch: We’ve got a report of a man down. White female, large beard, black pants.

Domestic Bliss

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 4:59 pm

Dispatch: Man says woman refuses to the leave house and he had to hit her.

October 22, 2009

You can’t pick your family

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 6:08 pm

Officer: Dispatch, I believe that whole family is [crazy].

October 21, 2009

Tacos

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 5:53 pm

Officer 1: Have you been to the new Mexican place?
Officer 2: Yeah. I really like their tacos.
Officer 1: I prefer their Chalupas.
Officer 1: They go real heavy on the cheese.
Dispatch: Are you going check out this lady’s house for intruders or not?

October 20, 2009

Walmart

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 6:24 pm

Dispatch: He’s laying in front of the pharmacy taking his clothes off.

Officer: Where is this at?

Dispatch: Walmart. (pause) Take your taser.

Modern technology

Filed under: Fire,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 6:22 pm

(fire has nearly gutted a building)

Fire Fighter: I think the sprinkler system just turned on.

October 19, 2009

Urban Dictionary

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 6:49 pm

Trooper: I’m squeezing the sponge here for you.

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