Amused by Police Scanners

December 31, 2009

Holiday revelry

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:36 pm

Dispatch: Caller isn’t sure if he’s hearing gunshots or fireworks.

Officer: Can I shoot them anyway?

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December 30, 2009

Last Rites

Filed under: Fire,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:30 pm

Dispatch: Caller says he sees black smoke behind the business.

Ladder: I just talked to the funeral director. They are cremating a body.

December 29, 2009

Blizzard

Filed under: Uncategorized — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:08 pm

(During major blizzard)

Officer 1: You’re stuck again?

Officer 2: No… Yes. Yes, I am.

December 28, 2009

Christmas commercialism

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:01 pm

Dispatch: Caller reports white female going door to door trying to sell mistletoe. Last seen northbound on foot.

December 25, 2009

101 uses for shampoo

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 4:21 pm

Dispatch: We have a male subject that drank a full bottle of shampoo thinking it was Maalox. He’s feeling sick at the moment.

December 23, 2009

Gift from the heart

Filed under: Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 5:50 pm

Dispatch: She says he threw a vacuum cleaner at her.

Suspicious Package

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 5:49 pm

Officer: Dispatch, this is just a prayer request with a glove in it. I’m available.

December 22, 2009

Yes. Yes I am.

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 7:15 pm

Officer: Are you being an asshole to me?

Should we do something about this?

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 7:14 pm

Dispatch: We’ve got a report of a man by the side of the road, standing in a ditch, holding a can of paint, screaming.

December 17, 2009

Don’t sample the merchandise

Filed under: Fire,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:19 pm

Ladder: Do you have any further information on this fire?

Dispatch: Calling party says it started when the dogs were fighting and knocked the heat lamps into the cannabis.

December 16, 2009

Routine calls

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 11:37 am

Officer: We don’t have any charges over here.. just a whole lot of stupid.

December 15, 2009

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 11:33 am

Officer: I’m off to the jail.

Dispatcher: Have a good trip.

December 14, 2009

Stolen objects

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 11:19 am

Dispatcher: County to all units, standby reference stolen ambulance out of shawnee.

December 8, 2009

Foul language

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 9:17 am

Officer: Be advised this guy has tourettes in case you get any calls on him.

December 4, 2009

Missing Cell Phone

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 3:08 am

Officer: Will you call my cell phone?

Sergeant: Did you lose it?

Officer: I think I left it on the trunk of my unit when I got to work.

<minute passes>

Sergeant: Sorry. Goes straight to voicemail.

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