Amused by Police Scanners

March 16, 2010

Not as advertised

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 12:25 pm

Officer: This is not an assault with a deadly weapon. This is just two people that can’t drive.

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March 12, 2010

not-so-grand larceny

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:20 pm

Dispatch: Woman says an unknown man stole her cheese. She is still in the store.

March 11, 2010

Recession

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:20 pm

Officer: Did they furlough everybody here today?

March 10, 2010

on Media

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:54 pm

Officer 1: Media’s coming.
Officer 2: Good. I think I’ll take this asshole out of the wagon so they can plaster his face all over the TV.

March 9, 2010

Run, boy!

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:04 pm

Officer: (panting heavily) Suspect is in custody.
Dispatch: Somebody get that man some water.

March 8, 2010

Oh, Really?

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:14 pm

Dispatch: Reporting Party says there is a monster in the basement and doesn’t wan to stay there with mom and the baby… RP sounds like a child.

March 5, 2010

There could be other explanations

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:27 pm

Dispatcher: Just got a call that one of the drivers involved in the wreck is now urinating in the middle of the street… possible drunk.

March 3, 2010

on road names

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:30 pm

Officer 1: Is that a Dominos on, ah, what do you call it, the crappy dirt road?
Officer 2: The crappy dirt road.

March 2, 2010

How does that work?

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:26 pm

Dispatch: This was a suicide attempt. There will be no drugs, no alcohol and no weapons involved.

March 1, 2010

Bayou bad luck

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:28 pm

Officer: That’s some bad juju.
Dispatch: Someone hates you.
Officer: Looks like it had to be you.

February 26, 2010

Cause I got high

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:20 pm

Officer: I don’t know if the people here are drunk, high, or confused, but I’m not getting any information from them.

February 25, 2010

Is it still a fire?

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:22 pm

Officer: There’s a fire down here no one knows about. We’ve been driving around for a while and can’t find it. But we can smell it.

February 24, 2010

Obvious

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:28 pm

Dispatcher: Oh, Tiger Woods. What a douchebag.

February 23, 2010

What is really important

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:14 pm

Dispatch: We’ll have Girl Scout Cookies on site.

February 22, 2010

Livestock Hazards

Filed under: Police,Scanners — amusedbypolicescanners @ 1:02 pm

Officer: There is a goat beating its head on the front door of this resident.

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